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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Moral Crisis at the Root of Broken Families

Dr. Laura

According to the acclaimed marriage counselor and radio talk show host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the root of broken and unhappy marriages can be attributed to a moral crisis.  She writes in her book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands:


   "How do so many women get to this unhappy place of not understanding how truly "simple" men are in their requirements and how much benevolent power their wives have over them?  Why did notions like assuaging "male ego" and using "feminine wiles" rocket into disrepute?  How is it that so many women are angry with men in general yet expect to have a happy life married to one of them?
   There are a number of reasons for this, and I believe they all revolve around the assault upon, and virtual collapse of, the values of religious morality, modesty, fidelity, chastity, respect for life, and a commitment to family and child rearing.
   With a religious foundation, both women and men appreciate that they become more complete when bonded to the opposite sex in holy matrimony.  Without it though women may see marriage as either an option equivalent to the usually temporary arrangement of shaking up, or as the threat of oppression, or as an impediment to the fulfilling of some important material goals.
   When modesty, chastity and fidelity were in vogue, women who valued themselves as more than sexual objects or outlets were respected by society in general and men in particular.  Now women have to contend with men taught to expect sexual favors as part of casual dating.  As a result, women ignore their true nature to bond, and find themselves getting more and more hurt and bitter as they search for meaning in a culture telling them meaning has no meaning.
   When there was awe and respect for life, an "accidental pregnancy" was met with commitment and responsibility because women expected it and men were accountable.  Now men expect and accidental pregnancy to result in an abortion because society has trained them to see this as a temporary inconvenience, or they expect to walk away because they've been told men aren't needed to raise babies.
   Commitment to marriage and child rearing was once seen as the pinnacle of adulthood identity, so that women looked carefully for the "right" man for the job, and parents were consulted for opinions and blessings.  Now, with so few sustained marriages and children growing up with complex family trees made up of multiple marriages, divorces, and out-of-wedlock children, fewer women look upon marriage and child rearing as stable or even normal.
   The feminist double whammy of the elevation of women without men (and children without fathers) and the dismissal of men as unnecessary or even dangerous has certainly not contributed to the kind of positive disposition that women need in order to function well within a monogamous, heterosexual, committed relationship.
   This grandiose self-centeredness about the value of women, paired with a virtual disdain for men, leads women to treat men badly.  Too many women look at men with a sense of entitlement versus an opportunity for selflessness.  Why?  All of those forces taken together have given women a false sense of superiority.
   Combine the false sense of superiority with the element of not being properly psychologically fed by their fathers and you have recipe for tension.  Women have a hunger for being protected and cared for-whether they want to admit it or not.  This hunger is amplified when there was no father in the home.  The man or men who then enter their lives become mixed up in their psychological need to replace Dad.  This makes for inappropriate expectations about what a man can and should do, which get in the way of a healthy, two-way relationship.  While there is always some wonderful mommying and daddying going on in all marital relationships, the compulsion to always give or receive such is a serious problem, as their partner is either force-fed or starved.  That lack of balance destroys relationships and corrodes people's psyches..."

2 comments:

  1. This is the most sense on the subject I've read in a long, long while! I think I'll run out and get that book although, truth be told; I may be overfeeding my husband... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every word is so true, thank you for this post.

    ReplyDelete

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